Living by Challenge

One of my favorite quotes from don Juan Matus to Carlos Castaneda is:

“We either make ourselves strong or we make ourselves miserable; both require the same amount of effort.”

We all know that making ourselves strong requires effort, but how or why would we expend any energy on making ourselves miserable? The things that make us unhappy often seem to be external to us. Our boss may snap at us, we get cut off on the road, our car breaks down etc. Blaming our reaction on the event, justifying our reaction, and then sustaining our reaction requires effort. It may not seem this way because our reaction is automatic; seemingly as if there is no effort required at all! In reality our reactions are a choice, but if they are unconscious, the outcome of our reaction often works against us. Our unconscious reactions can make us victims of our own making. Learning to become aware of our reactions and taking complete responsibility for them takes us out of victim mode and enables us to consciously and deliberately reframe events in ways that are more productive for us.

“A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction”.
--Rita Mae Brown

One of the most challenging and rewarding things that you can do while on the warriors path is learning to become conscious of what was previously unconscious. Living by challenge is a tool that can be used to help us shift out of a reactionary state into a state of awareness and acceptance.

"We cannot change everything, but we can change how we react. "

When the boss yells at us we can choose to see the event as a challenge to grow from. Doing so is an act of a warrior, it is intentional, purposeful, and no matter what the outcome is, we will have gained knowledge, strength and wisdom from the event. Accepting what is before us in the moment as a challenge helps us to become more aware of our unconscious negative reactions and is a good step toward eliminating them.

"When we resist our challenges we suffer, when we accept our challenges we prosper. "

When you find yourself suffering from any event ask yourself what it is that you may be resisting. If the boss yells at you, are your resisting hearing his perspective? Is he yelling because of something you resisted doing? Are you resistant to changing your perspective or doing something differently? Is your resistance an attempt to keep things the same even though you know you need change?

"Resistance is a catalyst for suffering "

When confronted with a challenge it is good to check for any signs of resistance. Where there is resistance there is an increased potential for suffering.

"Taking proactive action is empowering, avoiding proactive action is disempowering."

Forming our intention to take action or resisting action requires the same amount of energy. However, the outcome of resistance is often a loss of energy, the outcome of productive action is a gain of energy and this is why living by challenge is so powerful.

"Our challenges are here to make us stronger. Resisting our challenges is a futile game for no gain. "

Resistance may not seem to require much effort because it is often an unconscious process. Taking action may seem more like effort because it involves overcoming the program that keeps us in resistance. A warriors aim is all about eliminating the reasons why we argue for keeping things the same; even at the cost of our own well being!

"Resistance is a form of resisting life. "

When you find yourself in resistance it is useful to ask yourself the following questions:

What is the purpose of this resistance?
What is the outcome of this resistance?
Is this the outcome I desire?
What do I need to change in order to move forward?

In Living By Challenge we stay focused on what we want and we avoid having our attention being hooked to anything that does not bring us closer to our goals. Suffering can only occur when we identify with negativity. We set ourselves up for suffering when we identify with a negativity, then we take it personally, then we justify our reaction, then we resist and place the blame for suffering outside of ourselves; as if we are not responsible for our own emotions! ( I can hear Dr. Phil say “ how’s that workin’ for you?”)

"Resistance lends energy to creating and sustaining the problem. Acceptance lends energy to creatively solving the problem. "

Blame either toward a person or event, is a major contributor to negative emotions. In fact, it could be considered a root cause. Next time you feel a negative emotion, check in with yourself to see if blame is in anyway connected to how you feel. By removing the blame you can move from a negative and emotionally draining state to an empowering and productive state.

"When we blame we are in resistance to what is. "

If we cannot change what is, then resistance is truly futile! Eliminating blame moves you toward a state of acceptance. When you are in acceptance you are in a state of openness that is much more conducive to problem solving.

A brave step toward living by challenge is to accept responsibility for everything we create in our lives. Our state of being in this moment and every moment has been created by our own beliefs, actions, or inactions. No one else is responsible for how you feel in this moment or any other. don Juan’s point “we either make ourselves strong or we make ourselves miserable” is very appropriate here. Warriors accept full responsibility for their state of being and as a result, make conscious choices and take actions that are consistent with their values and in alignment with their hopes, dreams and visions.

"You can change the world simply by changing your perception of it."

We react to the world based on our perception of it. We may not be able to change what is, but we can change our perception of it. Changing our perception enables us to control our reactions and to utilize our energy in more productive and harmonious ways.

" You cannot change your life by changing your life. You can only change your life if you change your thinking."
-- Jannie Putter -- South Africa

If you are cut off in traffic it is your choice to make an assumption about the driver, then take it personally, then blame the person for your reaction, and create all kinds of useless negative energy, or simply accept the incident as a fact of life on the road. In reality it is nothing personal, your assumptions about the other driver change nothing, and the outcome of blame serves no one or no-thing. Shaming, blaming, and “shoulding” only creates and sustains what you do not want.

'Your way of being is a choice from moment to moment. "

To shift your perspective out of blame mode you can choose to see the event as a mirror of what you may have done in the past. One day you may have changed lanes very close to someone you did not see; it was unintentional, but the other driver took it personally and assumed that you were being an inconsiderate jerk and he blamed you for his day that was a bad day “right from the start”.

"Detached and at ease; I release this emotion to be free. "

To shift your perspective, imagine yourself being the other driver that you unintentionally cut off. You are angry, but now you know that being angry is your choice. You are aware that the anger is a result of identifying with the event, as if the other driver was attacking you personally. If we don’t take anything personally, then nothing that happens to us can possibly be personal. We literally go against ourselves and the other person when we take anything personally.

As my Toltec Mentor Allan Hardman ( http://www.joydancer.com) said so eloquently to me :

"The universe does not do “it” to us, we do “it” to us."

Accepting the fact that it is was nothing personal allows us to release the anger and see that it was a mistake that anyone can make. Letting the incident go is literally an act of power because it is an action step toward an emotional state that you consciously and deliberately create.

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
--Winston Churchill

Living by challenge is a step towards seeing events that create emotional reactions as opportunities for growth.

"A challenge is a warriors key to empowerment."

A victim takes things personally and loses energy, a warrior takes nothing personally and uses each challenge as an exercise; much like a power lifter uses weights to become stronger.